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The Cronicles of the Aegis (a fanfic for your enjoyment)
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SniperJoe3397



Joined: 06 Sep 2003
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Location: Guarding a corridor in BombMan's stage



PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 3:11 am    Post subject: The Cronicles of the Aegis (a fanfic for your enjoyment) Reply with quote

Because I felt like writing something, and playing Starscape so much, this came natural to me. Comments and such are welcome. Enjoy ^.^

The Cronicles of the Aegis
by SniperJoe3397

The swarm of these cybernetic monsters traveled towards me, some already wildly shooting energy bolts and dumbfire missiles. At this range, their shots had no chance to hit me unless I wanted them to. What they lacked in smarts they sure made up for in sheer numbers.

My MkIV Blasters were charged for their Burst Shot, targeting computer locking on a few of the larger Corvette class ships for my Torpedoes, and my new Missile Drones were keeping pace right behind me, ready and waiting for my signal to open up on the enemy ships. Heh, I'm still suprised at what the Prof and his team can come up with when they get their hands on alien technology.

The Devastator the Prof's team designed and JJ's team built sure helps out in putting all this technology to use. She holds all the stuff I want and has enough armor that she can dish it out as good as she takes it, if not more so.

The Archnid scout fighters closed in on me first, small suckers and not much of a danger, but they sure get mean when in groups and in a group this large, they were royaly angry. Clicking off the safety my Burst Shot was let loose. An entire wave of energy screamed towards the tiny fighters, tearing the entire fleet up in a matter of seconds. Only a few moved quick enough to survive it. The larger fighters, of both Blaster and Missile builds came right through the cloud of debris, their weapons raining down intent on one thing, making me suck vaccume in the least amount of time possible.

Both missiles and torpedoes launched into space, their engines leaving trails of smoke in the void. Plumes of fire exploded around me as they took even more losses. I punched the afterburners and dived right into the middle of the party. Cutting the engines and rotating I fired my blasters as fast as the computer would allow, letting the inertia carry me through. Blaster bolts and energy rockets came too close and impacted my ship. The faint blue glow of my shields taking the hits and my draining battery reserves reminded me of how risky each and every time I do this, but no matter how close to losing it I get, I always love the adrenaline rush it gives me.

A blinking light on my display told me my shields were beginning to fail. Time to end this. I fliped open the safety cover and hit the red button. The Nova Bomb clunked into space, and I smiled as it exploded, dozens of energy missiles flying out from the bright flash and bringing a great ending to the furball.

I checked the radar and saw it wasn't over. One of the smaller corvette class ships, a Minelayer slipped through and dived towards the Aegis. Bud was already ahead of me by the time I turned my ship and opened the COM channel. "Don't worry man, I've got it targeted!" Four MkIII Turrets and the Main Cannon swivled around. Just as the two mini-turrets on the Minelayer began to fire Bud and the four volunteers opened up with their firepower. Twelve bolts of energy and a huge beam tore the corvette into scrap in no time flat. I gotta hand it to the crew, they've turned this science ship into a handy fortress since we were trapped in The Grid.

Flying back to the Aegis I noticed the debris field from the Minelayer. A small cluster of mineral crystals floated around, and light reflected off the metal of a few containers. Well, can't be choosy in this place, I'll always welcome another source of supplies. Within a few minutes my cargohold was filled to the brim with the crystals and equipment, the spoils of war as it were.

As I came close for docking, my thoughts wandered back to when we were first dropped into this armpit of the galaxy. How long ago? A few weeks, months, years? I can't seem to tell anymore with time so strange in this place.

Me and my squad were reassigned from hunting down pirates and smugglers to this new experimental research ship, the Aegis, charged to fly cover and keep the ship and the support fleet safe for their voyage, a babysitting job. My whole team was flying the Avenger class fighters. Top of the line and fitted to our own tastes. Gunner prefered mostly Blasters, mostly trying to prove his name, and Zonna liked to use all missiles and extra ammo, with no blasters at all. She was always a bit crazy, but you couldn't doubt her skills. All of us were a bit steamed to be put on something so lowbrow, but orders are orders. You should have seen McPhereson's face when he learned we were gonna be in cold sleep for most of the trip. He always hated being in those tubes, saying they gave him nightmares or no dreams at all.

We flew patrol for the small fleet as she left spacedock, and I wasn't that impressed. No real weapons, minimal armor, but then again she was for research, not battle. She had a lot going for her if she was given Captain Fubuki to lead her. I remember some of the battles she fought in, both in capital ships and fighters. Best pilot in the whole sector, and knew her way around a bridge too. I remember I was one of the lead pilots that flew in to save her ship when it was ambushed by a battle fleet of five destroyers and a whole slew of fighters and corvettes. We fought them off, and thanks to her manuvering with that unyielding frigate, we won with only a few pilots lost. When my team and I arrived on the Aegis, she was more than happy to see me. I felt there was more; I didn't think I made that much of an impression on her back then, but maybe I did.

After a week of flight we were brought in and made like ice cubes. We traveled for years like that, only being brough out of cold sleep once every few months for checking the course and adjustments. It was the only time me and my squad could fly in our own fighters, so we savored each moment. When the ship was far enough away from Sol my squad was sent out for one last patrol before they turned their Dimention Drive online. During our patrol a meteor shower suprized us and we had to bug out. I made a few wrong choices in my direction and kissed a few too many meteors. My Avenger was nearly scrap and I had to take her in. I had to argue with Captain Fubuki to let me back into space with something to complete the patrol. She always seemed too cautious, and if it weren't for Bud, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere. They only had a small Runabout in the hangar loaded with a single blaster and grav beam, but it was something at least. My mission was to protect the Aegis, and I was bound and determined to do it.

Launching in the little flying tub I joined my squad's formation and finished our sweep, trying to ignore the razing the squad sent my way. On our way back the Aegis had powered up the experimental drive, so we double timed it back. Just as we came close the whole thing overloaded and activated. I still remember the arcs of lightning going through the Aegis and grabbing the support ships, and then zapping us.

Then everything was dead quiet. I opened my eyes, wondering if it was heaven I was seeing. Hundreds of colors illuminated everything around me, and I could see ghostly images here or there, vanishing so fast I couldn't make them out. I moved my hand out, and it looked like it was being trailed by half a dozen images of itself, a few ahead of it, a few behind it. I passed out from the intense light show, only to awake in a near empty section of space.

I didn't know what to do, but within the hour my scanners picked up an inbound warp signiture. The Aegis emerged from the tear in space, and soon I learned that she was attacked during the jump. Cybernetic beings boarded the ship, killing nearly all of the security team on their way through, and raided the ship for everything not nailed down. The support ships were nowhere to be found, but most of all, my entire squad was gone.

To this day I don't know where they are, or if I'll ever find them, but I won't stop looking. I know they're around here in The Grid somewhere, and we've been through too much together for me to give up. I'm hoping they could have found a safe haven with the friendly Xenarch, but more and more I'm fearing they've been absorbed into the hive-mind of the Archnid.

Back to our current situation though. Just after I unload the crystals, supplies and refit my fighter, we get another inbound signiture. This huge ship beams in, activating a jamming signal that keeps us from warping out. I launch myself straight at the diamond shaped ship, letting my munitions fly once again, screaming out the rally cry of my team, seeing each of their faces as I vape the Archnid drones.

I'll find them. One way or another, I'll find my team.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay! Our first fan fiction. Excellent Smile
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Fost
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No one has done any fan art yet though Sad
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Konedima
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fost wrote:
No one has done any fan art yet though Sad
yeah, i'm a **** artist and (smirks ready) i don't even know what fan art is!!!
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HunterXI



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[smirk]you dont know what it is?!? [/smirk] its when fans make art about the game.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah, I've been secretly hoping for some dodgy fan art, or even better: Rin/JJ cosplayers Shocked

They asked me not to post about that....

Maybe we could run a competition, wonder what we could use as a prize?
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You guys actually like "Fanfic"? Shocked

I'm surprised, I've never really heard anyone else's opinion on it, and between fanfic I've read and the Fanfics done to my works Mad , I've always kind of shuddered at the very word.

With the possible exception of "Rosencrantz and Guildernstern are Dead", I don't think I've ever really like them.(And I'm not so sure that R&G really counts, as it reflects infinitely little regard on the shakespearean work it quotes at parts, and the story the characters come from is, in fact, an actual history, so the shakespearean work is also just a "fanfic"(and more deserving of that title))

Also, what's a "cosplayer"?
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

X-Fighter wrote:
You guys actually like "Fanfic"? Shocked


Why not, it's fun! The range of talent displayed in fanfiction is often part of the appeal - plus it sounds like a great way to hone your writing skills (not that I'd know Very Happy ) by working on something you are interested in that already has a background and history.

X-Fighter wrote:
Also, what's a "cosplayer"?


Sigh, does no-one google anymore? You may not want to know though.. Shocked

http://www.costume.jp/index-e.html
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fanfic always looks like a sequel/prequel of some sort(it almost has to), exponentiating the "rule" that sequels are inherently inferior to the original work("always suck").

I guess if someone's really hard-up for writting technique practices, that's somewhat excusable, but it kills the creativity process by removing the inherent elements that actually make literature better--a fanfic cannot offer any real character development or self discovery without either losing the fact that it's a fanfic or radically destroying the elements that gave the original characters life.

Hence, unless the intention is by design to be a farcical parody of the original characters, it will at best "suck" or at worst become an unintentional parody("it's so awful, it's funny").

I'd hate to kill the creativity that this might possibly be sparking in people, but I would encourage aspiring writers to practice the entire craft and create something distinctly unique and "your own".

This sort of goes to my mod-theory(and requests) too... just making a "fanfic" mod of SS doesn't offer any new appeal or creativity.(How many people think "I want to re-make node number 85, but re-arrange the default placement of the asteroids"?)

So, if it really does it for you, and people enjoy it, then I suppose there's no real harm in it, but really, I'd love to see something that is actually original.

Edit: A last thought: If it's okay with the original creators(MP seems genuinely pleased with it, so I'm guessing it is here), it's okay. However, you should check with the original source before you do such, as there are both copyright issues and the simple issue of respect(I personally loathe the fanfic people have done of my works, I wish they never had Mad Mad Mad Mad ). Best of luck to you developing writers.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh come on, it's just a bit of fun, stop taking it all so seriously Very Happy
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They turned my masterfully designed psychopathic genius into a whining brat only capable of spewing a single sentence to repeat infinitely. Mad

Imagine Silence of the Lambs fanfic with "Hanibal Lecter" written as "pikachu". Now imagine they were attempting to be serious. Shocked
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 3:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, but the fun of it is that you can have a good laugh! Plus, it's the ultimate compliment : someone was so inspired by your work, they wanted more of it, even to the extent they were prepared to take a lot of time to work on the idea.

I've seen some really good fanfiction for games and tv and especially for movies. Even fanfilms: such as the recent batman: Dead End.

Even the bad art/fiction: at least people are trying, I'm happy to encourage them.
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SniperJoe3397



Joined: 06 Sep 2003
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Location: Guarding a corridor in BombMan's stage



PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

X-Fighter wrote:
but it kills the creativity process by removing the inherent elements that actually make literature better--a fanfic cannot offer any real character development or self discovery without either losing the fact that it's a fanfic or radically destroying the elements that gave the original characters life.


JAMESON is a pilot. The lead and Only surviving Combat Pilot of the Aegis. That's the ONLY thing we know about the "Original Character's life" and from all I could tell, has no voice considering he has no speaking lines, so if you would please, explain how I've radically destroyed his character by giving my own idea on his background and an attitude to match my personal flying style?


X-Fighter wrote:
Hence, unless the intention is by design to be a farcical parody of the original characters, it will at best "suck" or at worst become an unintentional parody("it's so awful, it's funny").


So are you trying to say that my short fanfic of Starscape at best, sucks or at worst an complete parody that's so awful it's funny? I was asking for comments on my short story, not really wide reaching hardlined criticizm of all generalities.

X-Fighter wrote:
I'd hate to kill the creativity that this might possibly be sparking in people, but I would encourage aspiring writers to practice the entire craft and create something distinctly unique and "your own".


Well I'm not an aspiring writer, I write stories, both original and fanfic, of varying ratings, for my own personal enjoyment and nothing more.
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

X-Fighter's comments appear to be relating to something else, and aren't aimed at your story so I wouldn't take them personally.

I should have said earlier that we all at Moonpod enjoyed it, and appreciated the work you put into it. I think you'll find X-Fighter's views aren't shared by most people, and I certainly hope they don't discourage anyone else from sending in or posting fan fiction/film/art or even cosplay pics Wink as we really enjoy them!

Also I don't see the problem with writing for characters and making up new plotlines anyway - if the story doesn't fit with what the author intended then it doesn't matter - it's fanfiction after all. Perhaps some writers get too upset if you mess with 'their baby' which I can understand.

Maybe we should make our own Moonpod fan movie, I think we could make a good go at being hobbits or dwarves in a LOTR fanflic Very Happy Also Sean Bean (Boromir in FOTR) was from Sheffield, so by default we can sound like we are from Gondor...
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2004 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My comments had been addressed to Fost, not you, I'm sorry for the confusion.

As far as the conditions of your story, as an entirity, it needs alot of polishing. Language mechanics aside(they are excusable to the tone of the naration; it's reasonable that a dim-witted pilot wouldn't be prone to brilliant oration), there are several weak points. The flashback within the flashback has poor narration for the character design you've given to Jameson, and doesn't match the stylistic intent of the persona he has earlier. The persona you assign the Captain completely disregards everything we learn about her within the game itself, while you give Bud a more care-free attitude than he ever exhibits at any point--he is perhaps the most cautious and overly-meticulous members of the crew.

To this end, you demonstrate my point well. Jameson is a purposefully blank slate, and any parts of the story filled into that are of your own creation, and therefore, not really "fanfic" of the character. On the other hand, the parts of the existing StarScape universe that you touched upon are distorted badly, failing to improve or constructively add to in any way the characters that MoonPod created in detail.

Overall, yes, your story sucked. It's not your fault, and you are an aspiring writer, not an accomplished one, as your technique has vast leaps and bounds for improvement available to it. You'll get better, the parts of your story that are, in fact, your own creation, are not that terrible, and although markedly hackneyed, there is some sense of development to the character you created. With work and proper training, I'm sure you could create many wonderful pieces, with your own characters in your own universes. You have some talent, and that's great.

It doesn't make it not-suck though. Confused

If it was my characters you were screwing up, I'd be mad. MoonPod seems delighted with it though, so feel free to carry on.

EDIT: Oh, and Fost finished writting his last post after I started this one, but yeah, also take into account what he said. Very on-the-mark, Fost!
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