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I'm a grammar Nazi.
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NoPetrol



Joined: 18 Apr 2009
Posts: 15



PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:35 am    Post subject: I'm a grammar Nazi. Reply with quote

In the second zone, the Xenarch say "They are rich in resources; even when all other nodes are exhausted". That semicolon should be replaced by a comma. A semicolon should only be used when there is a complete sentence before it and after it. Or you could have them say this:

"They are rich in resources; they will yield elements even when all other nodes are exhausted."

Also, before the boss of node 2, the captain says "We don't have to fight we can help each other." Those are two complete sentences not separated by ANY punctuation mark. You can either use that semicolon you deleted from the Xenarch's speech ("We don't have to fight; we can help each other."), or you can make them two complete sentences ("We don't have to fight. We can help each other.").

I know these are minor problems but stuff like this keeps me up at night.
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Konedima
Grammar Police
Grammar Police


Joined: 25 Oct 2003
Posts: 1068
Location: Sydney, Land of Censorship



PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:30 am    Post subject: Re: I'm a grammar Nazi. Reply with quote

NoPetrol wrote:
In the second zone, the Xenarch say "They are rich in resources; even when all other nodes are exhausted". That semicolon should be replaced by a comma. A semicolon should only be used when there is a complete sentence before it and after it. Or you could have them say this:

"They are rich in resources; they will yield elements even when all other nodes are exhausted."

Also, before the boss of node 2, the captain says "We don't have to fight we can help each other." Those are two complete sentences not separated by ANY punctuation mark. You can either use that semicolon you deleted from the Xenarch's speech ("We don't have to fight; we can help each other."), or you can make them two complete sentences ("We don't have to fight. We can help each other.").

I know these are minor problems but stuff like this keeps me up at night.

That semicolon is perfectly fine, as there are complete sentences (not that there need to be; a semicolon can be used to indicate a pause) on either side of it.

As for the speech before the boss, you're correct, there should be some punctuation. Where you're wrong (or simply incomplete) is that comma would be completely acceptable as well as a semicolon or full stop.
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NoPetrol



Joined: 18 Apr 2009
Posts: 15



PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sure that in the United States a semicolon can only be used to separate two complete sentences or in place of a comma in a list where some items on the list themselves include a comma, and that a comma may not be used to separate two complete sentences. The rules are probably different in Australia. I guess since we don't know where the Aegis crew are from I guess this is a non-issue.
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Konedima
Grammar Police
Grammar Police


Joined: 25 Oct 2003
Posts: 1068
Location: Sydney, Land of Censorship



PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To be perfectly honest, I'm not completely sure what different grammatical rules you yanks have, just all the words you spell incorrectly.

The thing about most of the text in Starscape (and Mr. Robot, for that matter) is that it's people talking. People don't always say entirely grammatically correct sentences when talking (and frankly, were I talking to the Archnid, I'd more interested in smack-talking than making sure I had all the correct punctuation), so that basically gives you an excuse to get away with almost anything you want when you have speech transcribed.

As for the comma issue... you seem to be ignoring that they aren't necessarily two separate sentences. Just because a few words fit the dictionary definition of a sentence, that doesn't mean that they MUST be a sentence. If you adhere strictly to the definition (at least what I was always taught), most of my sentences in this post could be split in to multiple sentences, but does that mean they should?

Of course, if Fost or Poo Bear would send me the entire script for Starscape, I'd be glad to examine it in a level of detail nobody normal ever should.
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Weeble
Starscape Jedi
Starscape Jedi


Joined: 25 Apr 2003
Posts: 1143
Location: Glasgow, Scotland



PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just for the record, I agree with both of NoPetrol's corrections, if they indeed correctly describe the text in the game. Are you sure you are playing an up-to-date version? There have been many corrections to the text, and I *think* I remember reporting a run-on sentence like that. Then again, perhaps I'm thinking of something similar in Mr. Robot.

(By the way, if Fost is reading, would it ever be possible to allow viewing of the Mr Robot Beta forum? I am on occasion quite curious to look back at things I posted there during the beta, but it's all locked away now.)
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Poo Bear
Pod Team
Pod Team


Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 4121
Location: Sheffield, UK



PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for pointing out those issues, the run on sentence is definitely wrong. I'm not sure about the semicolon.
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